Britney Spears: one of the most hunted by the paparazzi. A diva by all means, complete with a divorce record, children horror-stories, and attempted comebacks to popularity. Many have fallen from the fan cloud, and some, like myself and the writer of the article I chose to critique, opted to never be a part of the fan cloud at all.
I would give Ms. Williams an A-. The essay was well-developed. All of her points were descriptive, and her paragraphs were full of content. It wasn’t a wimpy 5-paragraph essay. She put a lot of thought and research into her topic. She also used purposefully-placed statistics, which helped aid to her side of the argument.
However, I was disturbed by a lot of the language she used. It came off as strong and almost standoffish. While it is good to be strong in your argument, words like “stripper” and “sleazy” turn the reader off. Perhaps that was the stance she was going for, but I felt that her vocabulary was very childish.
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I paraphrase Emerson: say what you will today in harsh terms and with no regard for consistency. I must note that that sentiment is silly in my mind and that you are right to criticize the author for her use of that language. One needn't employ such terms to make their point clear. Ironic how a person might embody a similar form of what they're condemning.
ReplyDeleteI, too, gave Ms. Williams an A-. I thought her essay was very well thought out and had good organization. I believe her language was just her being completely honest with how she feels and depending on the kind of writing, it can be okay.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I really like how you summed your reasoning up and used good vocabulary. =)