ain't no fairytale.

I am a very closed person. I will admit this from the get-go. I do not talk about my close-and-personal issues with very many people.

And with this I begin: I am sharing about my wonderful almost 4-year relationship with my best friend, my soon-to-be husband. I get a lot of "you and Josh are such a cute couple" and "we always knew you would get married, it's so perfect." Thank you for the compliments. I appreciate them.

But I just want to throw a disclaimer out there: Josh and I's relationship is far from perfect. We had and still currently have issues. To tie in with my previous disclosures about my general unwillingness to share all of my problems with a multitude of persons, you understand my point here.

As I have grown with Josh in my relationship and in our relationship together with Christ, I have realized something huge (and this is especially for the females reading this):

LOVE IS NOT A FAIRY TALE.
LOVE WILL NEVER BE A PICTURE-PERFECT STORY.

You will do well in your future relationships to latch onto this concept from the get-go. Love and romance is not like it is played out in the movies--I believe we all understand this, and yet part of us still wants this to be true.

There was a time of great trial in my relationship. As much as I wanted us to work through it, there was so much pain and distrust spearing through our hearts and blinding our vision. I honestly wondered many times whether we would survive.

I remember praying earnestly, begging God to take away the pain from me. Crying out that I was in love with a man who was hurting me; I was desperately in love with someone who was screwing with what was supposed to be my fairytale.

So many discussions spurred out of this tribulation. While neither said it, both of us were praying for the answer we needed most--continue on this path together, or separate and part ways?

It's obvious what was the right choice for us. Here is the kicker, however.

My relationship is just as it should be.

It isn't and can never be perfect. But I wouldn't change any of it--not even the parts that hurt the most.

For me, that tribulation has brought more healing than anything else in my life. This man that I am marrying, the one who has brought joy and pain in great multitudes, has been exactly what I needed to deal with past unfinished issues. Together we have held each other and pushed each other and forced each other to face everything we needed to.

God knew this all along. He knew what I needed, whether I knew or not.

And He knows that NONE of us actually need a fairytale. We don't need the perfect romance. We don't need a movie love-story.

He will provide what you need, when you need it--so don't allow yourself to be blindsided by your own opinions.

psalm 111

"Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart, in the company of the upright, in the congregation.
Great are the works of the Lord,
studied by all who delight in them.
Full of splendor and majesty is his work,
and his righteousness endures forever.

He has caused his wondrous works to be remembered; The Lord is gracious and merciful.
He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever.
He has shown his people the power of his works,
in giving them the inheritance of the nations.

The works of his hands are faithful and just;
all his precepts are trustworthy; the are established forever and ever,
to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness.

He sent redemption to his people; he has commanded his covenant forever.
Holy and awesome is His name!

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding.

HIS PRAISE ENDURES FOREVER."

to the only god.

my life was made with the purpose of glorification.
glorification not of myself,
or my deeds
or my possessions
glorification not of my success or failures.

glorification only of my Maker.